For me, the year does not begin on January 1. We are building work plans sometime in March. Nothing like that was planned, somehow the pandemic landed us a little. I had a dream for several years, I wanted me to have granddaughters. There were indeed plans for the festival, expansion of the organization's public activities, family trips, and so on.

There was an alarming atmosphere, but we did not understand until the last that this could happen and that it would happen on such a scale, and with such consequences as it was. I remember that somewhere during this period I came to the manicure correction, and the girl who did it to me and I discussed that they had already built a certain plan in the family: she would go after her daughter, husband after son. But we didn't know it would happen. In fact, they were not ready both mentally and physically.

In general, I consider myself a strong woman, but now there are some triggers inside, they are still present. Woke up from a relative's call. Woke up her husband. We turned on the TV, but I don't remember what was going on TV at that moment. 

My anxiety bag wasn't folded, but I was starting to collect. When a few months later [after the deoccupation of Chernihiv Oblast] I dismantled that backpack: I put Chanel perfume, which was given to me for the new year, a box with silver jewelry, warm clothes, documents, a passport. I found it so funny that the values of ‒ Chanel perfume and silver jewelry. Logic – nol.

She started to gather. The thoughts were not about what I should put, but for some reason I returned mentally to the fact that: "Okay, I will go, and there are people on the territory who will not be ready to cope with this situation themselves. How are they? How to be?" And then I say to my husband: "I'll go to the center, we need to deal with the bomb shelters". We started studying the bomb shelter with the village headman, working with men, with people, because on this day we had a planned village sunrise. People were leaving, waiting for some clarifications, which did not exist at that time.

Around 12 o'clock, a man called me and told me to collect a backpack and warm things for him, because he is already in the district military commissariat and will be passing by now, he will stop by for these things. We didn't discuss it before the war, but he made such a man's decision. I am very proud of this choice. At that time, we did not know where they would be. They were going to hell. A bus drove up here, it was very difficult to escort the boys. We didn't cry while they were here. When we left, we were just plowing here. It's hard.

Until the morning of the next day, she was just fighting with herself. I was hypertensive and I was afraid that I would break the paralysis, because I had to work with people, and I was very worried about my husband. At that time I still had pills, I drank them. 

I have always been in society. I had no time to immerse myself in personal experiences, because I had certain responsibilities that you take on before people, and then you can no longer leave them. At that moment, I will not say that everything was so bad for me, but I do not remember that I ate and drank. For example, she realized that she sat down to eat on the fifth day of the war. She sat down with her mother in the evening and realized that this was my first meal.

Now I am very sorry for not keeping any diary. But every morning I wrote a post on Facebook. We have a community, and by the time of the war, about 50% of the community were followers of this community. On the first day, she wrote to her group of employees, and immediately posted on the Facebook page how we should act, how to react, where to turn for help. And then for a hundred days she wrote a publication every day.

The hardest thing was to write when we had the first civilian victims. It was very difficult for people to provide information so that they would not panic, but manage. And I will say more that people needed it, because when I didn't get in touch at that time, people started looking for me, where I went.

In fact, there was not even an idea to be at home at that time. In the first days ‒ is the arrangement of civilians. A lot of immigrants came to us. Someone evacuated and needed to refuel the car urgently. Already on the third day, we had Ukrainian military personnel, and then we started organizing their stay in the application. Logistics in the first three days for the military was very difficult, they were left without basic things for survival, nutrition, warmth and so on. And from that moment, this activity began.

We have as many as two cellars. And I was with them twice. Once we took our neighbor there. She is also such a very adult woman. They prayed, my girls, and I slept. The second time I was in another cellar. We also arranged there and put the hems and the carrier.

At some time, the military came to us and said that we cannot spend the night in my house, because there is a hangar next to us. Hangar – is a direct target of the Russian military. In fact, there was agricultural machinery there. Every day we took this backpack I was talking about and left, and in the morning we came back.

Then she fantasized like that: she sealed the windows at home with boxes and boxes. And as if it was already protected for me. She got a new silk white shirt and went to bed. And when we already had the opportunity to discuss with the girls there, I say: "I put on it, if anything, so that I could be found beautiful in a white shirt". Sometimes my colleagues laughed, said: "As it was tattered with bricks, the beauty in the shirt was so, sad".

And at some point someone told me that there is such a series "House for Happiness". For some reason, during this active phase of hostilities with his mother, we watched it for several episodes a day.

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