I came under fire on February 28. We were taken to the regional hospital. And she returned to Kyiv on April 1, because until then no one could come to Kyiv from Chernihiv or from Kyiv. My husband was then in the morgue. And to be honest, it was uncomfortable for me to be in the hospital when at any moment he could be buried somewhere in a mass grave.

 It was stressful, probably for everyone. Because we woke up from what started to hum. At first we did not perceive it as the beginning of a war. They thought it was training.

My father came in at 6 o'clock in the morning and said, "Lille, the war has begun", I say: "Are you kidding me? Well, honestly." "No, Lily, he's banging", ‒ says in response. And then it all started, buying food.

There was a lot of talk about this topic (war) and the talk started a long time ago. Probably more than in a year. It was said that, most likely, there would be some kind of invasion or some kind of hostilities. But we thought that it would be in Donbas, that it would go more to those areas.

It's just that I couldn't believe such a mass war for a long time, I couldn't believe it until the last. She began to believe that the war had begun when she read in the news on February 24 that Kharkiv was the first to be shelled. My best man lives in Kharkiv, they arrived in the first hours. She called back, cries, says: "Lilya, we are on the subway, we don't have a house, there was an arrival in the nearby entrance. There are no windows at all on our half, nothing, everything".

 Then they started calling that all ‒ is canceled. No one goes anywhere, because I had to go to work, my husband, he was engaged in construction, the child went to school, the other to practice. Everyone stayed at home. They did not know where the child was. There was such a shock that they did not know where to start, where to do, what to do.

Bread ran out very quickly in Kiinka. My godfather drives food through the villages. He probably brought ten fresh loaves of bread on the 25th or 26th. He says: "Lilya, well, we can't give it away yet, because it's not our bread, but maybe someone who needs to sell it like that, at least at the lowest price".

My husband bought me grain and cereals, because he perfectly understood that if the war started and that the war started near Chernihiv, sooner or later you can be left without anything.

Everything that was possible, sausages, everything was thrown into the freezers just in case. So we didn't have time to use it. Already after this (after February 28), my relatives took me away, as our house was badly damaged.

According to relatives, the month of March was generally so difficult that there was no bread, no cereals, cereals for animals ran out. My mother still went to her neighbor's house to milk the cow, because the neighbor left.

 The cellar was rather, more dangerous. We went down once, went out, and we didn't go down there again. They have just come down in a beaten state, in a wounded state.

In the first days of the beginning of the war, the children were with us. The first shelling took place on February 28. The daughter was very restless. Before that, she ran to her mother's house on a parallel street. My sister and nephew were there, my mother and nephew, the girl and her family came from Chernihiv. That is, there were many people there. She seemed to feel comfortable there. Our house is just off the track... When our equipment went, it was scary. You stand in the garden, you see tanks coming.

The man ran and said to fall on the fields. And then, when it was over, we went outside with such a thing that we would go to the cellar to hide.

Something was burning opposite the village council. There were strong arrivals. I called my mother's parents to ask them if everything was fine.

We needed help on the bridge. Ambulances cannot come. My husband and I ran and kicked out the car, I ordered the little one to go to the cellar. We returned to the cellar already with injuries. Because the second shelling immediately began.

It was a very big stress for the children. The son was with us at the moment when it all happened. And he went to the hospital with us, he called an ambulance, he helped both his father and me.

 Then my nephew with his girlfriend and my daughter fled from Kyiv on foot through the country, and then under fire further. The military took the little one and brought her to Anya, my daughter, because he asked her. The children in Chernihiv were with their mother-in-law.

And then on March 22, the military together with volunteers took away children who did not have parents. That is, who either lost their parents or was left without them. Where they could take it. My children left with them at six in the morning, and drove along such roads that they reached only at two o'clock in the afternoon.

 My son handed me my cell phone. While there was a connection, yes, they talked. My mother charged her through her neighbor, because there was no light. There was no gas, light, or water in Kiinka. Nothing that depended on light.

And I had a mother. And my mother is gone now, she died 9 months after the start of the war. Nerves.

 I had chickens. When our house was damaged, there were no fences: neither in front, nor in the back, nor on the sides. Because we had a flight there just between me and my neighbor, such a gap is quite small.

I have three dogs, two cats at that time there were also chickens. The chickens lived in a barn, they were afraid to go out. Dogs. That day they hid with us in the cellar.

Yes, the dogs were sitting on the edge. They waited until my father brought food from my mother. He went every day, carried chickens, cats, and dogs to eat in chuguns.

 It's like, you know, you're coming back by yourself. You want it, you don't want it, but it comes back. It seems to pop into the memory. I want to forget, it is not forgotten.

After the hospital, after burying my husband, I went to the children in the Nosovsky district. We were there until mid-April. As the light appeared in Kiinka, we returned. How were you restored? Volunteers helped because everything was damaged. There was not a single window left, the door was all broken.

 There was a lot of stress for me that year. And loss of health, loss of work, loss of husband, loss of mother. When you come to the house where you just started making repairs, you will all be built first and you come, and you have an armageddon house, an armageddon in your life. Well, it's hard.

 I'm looking at my kitchen now, and I remember my great-grandmother there, who was visited a long time ago, and she always had this mountain of supplies, some pile of salt. It is not possible to eat it in a lifetime. Another thousand and one packs of matches. It was as if I could not understand where it came from. Because she probably survived the war. Now we understood.

It also became more frugal. I try everything, either so that it is in the products, or so it lies: so that there is a little on the card, a little cash. Because then the number was not thrown, and my nephew was withdrawing money from our card on the first day in Chernihiv. That is, now I understand that I keep it so that there is always cash. Documents are all buyers.

 The garden relieved my stress. I'm crustaceans, by the side. It was impossible at all, but this garden will give me something somewhere. Flowers ‒ it was anti-stress for me. This is probably the only thing that brought you out of depression at that moment.

 Children live one day. I live one day. I try, but I understand what you will build and what plans will you make? You don't know how tomorrow will be.

She persuaded the children to leave, they don't want to. They said no, they will be here. I don't know if I will tell my children and grandchildren in the future. Children don't mean to tell. They survived it all. They even asked why you went to drive out that car, why you had to go there. I tried to explain that we wanted to help, but no one thought that there would be a second arrival.

At first, it was as if there was a little accusation: "why did you go there", "why didn't you hide", "were supposed to be with us". The son was present at all conversations, at all. He was not allowed to go outside, he was in the yard. His shock wave threw him into the cellar. It was a miracle when he told me all this.

Well, I understand. I felt guilty for a long time that the two of us, why the two of us went there. I analyzed for a long time myself: why together? Are we two such athletes ‒ necessary?, so we must! And now I understand, God forbid, it's a good thing that I was pulled out of the other world, and if they hadn't pulled me out, who would the children have stayed with?

link to history